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13 February 2010

The Last Stare

Siang menjelang sore hari. Kantin Smada. Mendung. Jumat, 12 Februari 2010 . .

I did honest to my besties. About my hesitancy of him. About how he treats me. About the way he looks at me. All in my mind and what i feel of him.

Then, next vanilla latte . .

She told me how she thought when the first time i said, ''look at him! He's damn cute ! !''
Especially when i said that i loved him . .

Then, my other bestie came . .

She said, ''can i ask him? I want to know What he feel on you. I have been knowing him since when we were in JHS''.
Me, ''NO! Dont do that''.
She, ''ok. You know what to do girl . . ''

Yes. I know what to do. I'll let the feeling go out of my heart. I'll be a girl who careless of you. I'll kill all of you that still living in my head.

Enough. Than i smile to them. I was happy for being honest to my self, to my friends . .
It felt like my problems were flying away. I love for being honest.

Then he pass me by. He stared me intently straight on my eyes. I did too. Then i smile . . :)

'Boy, it will be the last stare. Bye . . ' i said to my self . . .
I took a deep breath . .

Last song :
~shadows fill an empty heart, as love is fading . .
for all the things that we are, but are not saying . . ~

in a deep awareness


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